


Ashes To Ashes

by AtLeastWeWontBeLonelyInHell



Category: The Mentalist
Genre: Angst, F/M, Hurt, Tragedy, dark themes, dark&twisty, re-post from 2012
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-12
Updated: 2012-10-12
Packaged: 2019-10-11 04:14:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 497
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17439743
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AtLeastWeWontBeLonelyInHell/pseuds/AtLeastWeWontBeLonelyInHell
Summary: When he pulls the trigger, he's sure he can hear the devil laugh. (Red John, deep down in hell, sealing his victory).





	Ashes To Ashes

**Author's Note:**

> And a BIG special thank you goes to the wonderful clairebare for beta reading!

**Ashes to Ashes**

**.**

**.**

The first time it happens,

he's not even there.

He's more than a hundred miles away,

_(still trying to catch the demons of his past)-_

still fighting a losing battle.

It's Grace who calls him in the middle of the night-

_(yelling and sobbing)_

leaving the message that brings him _home_ again.

* * *

The second time,

he's there-

(he's back)

back _home._

They're talking again, _  
_

_(laughing)-  
_

and joking _.  
_

But when he finds her in the middle of the night-

curled up on his couch in the bullpen,

_(Sleeping)-_

_(Waiting)-_

holding on to one of his jackets for dear life-

he's afraid.

Afraid that he might already broke her-

_(took her down with him)-_

_and it takes him more than 30 seconds,_

to realize that she isn't breathing.

* * *

He's there when she wakes up in the hospital ten hours later,

_(holding her hand)-_

like she did so many times.

He wants to tell her that he's sorry

_(for everything)-_

_(and for nothing.)_

That he wants her- _  
_

_(loves her)-  
_

needs her. _  
_

But in the end he says nothing.

(Nothing at all).

* * *

The third time,

it's a bloody mess when he finds her on her bathroom floor-

and he knows-

knows for sure this time-

_(that he broke her)._

He wants to shake her-

_(slap her)-_

_(kiss her)-_

but instead he holds her lifeless body in his arms-

and cries like he hasn't done since the devil took his family.

When the ambulance arrives-

they have to pull her away from his grip-

_(like someone should have done years ago)._

* * *

After that-

he can't stop thinking about it-

_(What if)-_

what if…

* * *

He's there when she wakes up-

(again)-

holding her hand-

holding on for dear life.

_(Don't leave me)._

„Stop saving me,“ she whispers softly.

He can't-

_(and he knows she already knows too)-_

but he wishes he could.

_(He really does)._

* * *

It's her who kills him,

_(Red John)-_

not even a year later.

After 11 years-

it takes only a second-

_(a women)-_

_(a women he loves)-_

_(and a gun)-_

to end his nightmare.

(For good).

_(Rest in agony Bastard)._

* * *

He leaves town two hours later-

_(without a word)-_

_(without a text)-_

like he always planned to.

There's nothing left to say-

_(That's not true)-_

he knows.

_(I love you)_

_(I love you)_

Please forgive me. _  
_

* * *

When it happens for the fourth time-

_(she's alone)-_

he's not there.

And no one even tries calling him.

_(They already stopped trying a long time ago)._

He gets her letter three days later-

_(too late)-_

far too late.

* * *

He stares at the words,

scribbled down in her beautiful handwriting.

The last thing she did-

_(for him)-_

the last thing he will see.

_(It's her)._

When he pulls the trigger-

he's sure he can hear the devil laugh-

_(Red John)-_

deep down in hell.

_(Sealing his victory.)_

_._

* * *

_I love you._

_Always have._

_And always will._

 

In the end, that note is all that's left.

 

 _Ashes to Ashes,_ _Dust to Dust_


End file.
